DaDane Of DaWeek

The March of Time
Two weeks ago we met a puppy named Grimm. When he was 9 weeks old, he was small enough to fit in a "carry on" bag and travel in the passenger cabin of a commercial airliner. (If you missed it, you can read that story by clicking here.)

Since then, Grimm has grown! At nine months of age, he looks quite mature. Anyone who has raised a Great Dane puppy knows better, though. Inside Grimm's large sleek body there lurks an immature rascal, capable of enormous mischief.

Recently Grimm's owner, Zeli Schulte, compiled this list and asked him to sign it:

I, Grimm, promise to put my best paw forward and...
... refrain from destroying my toys.
... keep the nose prints off the patio door.
... stay out of the cat's litter box.
... stop treating the TV as my private salt lick.
... refrain from stepping in my own poop.
... stop barking directly in my master's ear.
... stop pulling fast ones and then looking like I did nothing wrong.
... refrain from chewing my own doggie bed.
... stop being a backseat driver and sticking my head in my master's line of sight.
... refrain from panting directly in my master's face.
... stop licking myself when my master's guests are around.
... refrain from talking when my mouth is full of toys or sticks or bones.
... endeavor to leave the room when I let one rip instead of just looking at my backside with curiosity.
... stop splattering my dog food all over the floor.
... refrain from sneaking up on my master's bed in the middle of the night while s/he is sleeping and then proceeding to hog the bed inch by inch.
... resist the temptation to be the first one out the door and let others go out the door ahead of me.
... refrain from fracturing my master's toes as I lovingly jump on her/him.
... look like I really enjoy having my nails clipped and my ears cleaned.
... stop licking my master's face right after she has freshly applied her make-up.
... refrain from chewing on chair legs and furniture in general and just chew on my own toys.
... stop treating the food on the counter or on the table as if it belongs to me.
... stop barking when I hear a dog or a doorbell on TV.
... stop rubbing myself against my master's new clothes in an effort to keep her/him at home.
... stop sitting on my master's lap when s/he is putting on shoes.
... sit quietly when someone comes to visit.
... stop cleaning my face on the bed pillows.
... keep my tail to myself and away from table tops.
... stop snorkeling in the water bowl and then letting water drip from my mouth onto the floor.
... resist the urge to eat cat doodles.
... resist the urge to roll in cat doodles and/or other doodles.
... stop waking my master at 5 a.m. on the weekends.
... strive to place my bones out of harm's way and not in my master's direct line of travel, especially at night.
... refrain from barking between the hours of 9:00 p.m. and 8:00 a.m.
... refrain from nesting in that warm pile of clothes that just came out of the dryer.
... refrain from being so finicky when it comes to my dog food.
... stay out of the garbage.
... wipe my muddy paws before entering the house.
... stay off the sofa meant for guests.
... refrain from sitting on guest's laps.
... stop standing in front of the TV while my master is desperately trying to change channels.
... stop being jealous when my master pets another dog.
... refrain from treating the Persian rug as my personal tug toy and running around the house with it in my mouth.
... stop drinking from the sink while my master is washing his/her face.
... give my master privacy in the shower and stop poking my nose where it does not belong.
... stop embarrassing my master by sniffing my master's friends in the crotch.
... and FINALLY, stop taking my master for granted and come immediately
when called rather than when I feel like it.


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