DaDane of DaWeek

 Created: 09/04/06


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— Great Dane Haiku —

September 4 , 2006 – This weekend I was listening to Car Talk, my favorite radio show. Tom and Ray (Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers) were discussing "automotive haiku." Haiku is a traditional form of poetry that usually consists of three simple lines. The first and third lines have 5 syllables; the middle line has 7. Haiku was developed in Japan, where for over 700 years it has been highly regarded as a serious art form. Here in the West, and particularly on Car Talk, haiku is not always treated with the respect it deserves:

Went for oil change –
Got transmission, clutch, muffler.
Bye-bye Oahu.
The deer, quick once, stops....
In headlights, the blink freezes.
Venison tonight.

I confess to being highly amused by these verses. What about writing some Great Dane haiku? That might be fun. I am a complete novice when it comes to haiku (any poetry for that matter), so please don't judge me too harshly. This is what I've come up with so far:

Plant your feet firmly,
I am expressing my love,
while I lean on you.
A muffled meow.
I am a gentle giant,
cat's head in my mouth.
"Don't eat the donuts."
Powdered sugar on my nose.
Box not high enough.
I cruise the counter.
A stick of butter beckons.
How can I resist?
"Don't lick the dishes."
The dishes are in the sink.
I can still reach them.
McDonald's drive-thru?
Buy me a hamburger, please.
You can keep the bun.
Kitchen floor all wet!
Do not look at icemaker,
they will never guess.
Walking my Great Dane,
"Is that a dog or a horse?"
Strangers approach us.
I ride in your car.
After, you vacuum my fur –
most on the ceiling.
Harlequin Great Dane.
He is not a Dalmatian.
He is not a cow.
You tell me to sit.
I back up and find a chair,
four feet on the floor
I hear a loud noise.
I chase my butt to find it.
"Toots" are here and gone.
The roof has no leaks.
Danes sling their slobber.
Watermarks on ceiling.
I drink, avoiding
feathers in my water bowl.
The outdoor bird bath.

Okay, so they aren't great – and some are better than others. Maybe you can help me out? If you'd like to contribute some "Dane Haiku" verses, please leave a comment or just email me. I'll publish the best ones right here on DaDane of DaWeek.

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